"Celebrate your smallness."

"In my own soul, when I long for validation, recognition, or appreciation, I'm starting to look for a bench instead. How can I sit down on the inside and celebrate my smallness in the presence of Christ?"
- Emily Freeman

When Emily was experiencing a hard and hurried time in her life, a trusted friend and counselor told her to celebrate her smallness, and from that seed her latest book was born. Simply Tuesday is a way of life for her and one I want to embrace.

When I want to control outcomes, when I want to see the bigger picture, I need to slow down and live in this moment instead. As Emily said, she finds God "hiding under the piles of everyday life," because Jesus is "where he always said he would be - in the whisper, in the shadows, in the seed."

I don't have a huge problem with appreciating life, but I do have a big problem with always looking around at what God might be pointing toward. And that's certainly good to a point, but I tend to focus a lot on that bigger picture, that what-God-might-or-might-not-be-doing.

For the last couple of years I've felt a stirring in my soul to do something different with my career, but I didn't know what. I tried selling essential oils (something I really like) and tried tutoring (something I sort-of like but am really qualified to do), both of which didn't produce fruit that made my soul leap for joy. I finally feel like I'm figuring out what that next step is going to be, though the picture is still fuzzy and - wait for it - that is ok. As of today, July 22, 2015, I am fully present in the now and ok with the not knowing.

So many times I've had to trust God with the unknown, remembering that his plans have always been better than mine, and I can do that now too. It's just that I can be so impatient.

So, while I'm tempted to look for opportunities and signs, I'm learning to just sit. Sit on the bench inside my soul. Thanks, Emily. As usual.